I come from a long line [well, two generations long] of Mets fans. And it isn’t because I live in Queens either. I was raised in Brooklyn, and then Long Island. My dad was born in Brooklyn. Even his dad was born in Brooklyn. My dad is still sitting shiva for the Dodgers moving to LA! Therefore, in my family, you wouldn’t be caught dead rooting for the Yankees!

But yesterday, I was ready to burn my orange and blue and wear pinstripes. Okay, I’m not running a benefit for Willie Randolph! You can’t even equate his firing to layoffs at United or Starbuck’s or even Bear Stearns. Besides Willie’s money, I’m sure he’ll get snatched up as fast as the Dodgers nabbed Joe Torre.

And I’m not questioning whether he needed to go. Maybe Willie’s time was up. But do you have to fly the guy to California, let him qvell over his winning team, and then fire him at midnight after he reaches his hotel room? Beyond tacky. I never thought anyone could make the Steinbrenners look like nice guys, but this did just that!

Shame on you, Mets Management!! photo credit:Kjetil Ree/Wikimedia Commons

We all know them, we all watch them, and worst of all, we all remember them! After all, isn’t that the point? Especially the ones where they repeat a phone number [who can forget the Sheraton commercial decades ago -800-325-3535?]
OK here are my nominees
1) All the Bob’s Furniture ads [the “Bob-o-Pedic” mattress, or the modular sofa bigger than an entire NYC studio apt, with chaise and 2,4, or even 6 cup holders]

2) The Stanley Steemer spot with Toby the dog’s “new trick” [which is cleaning his butt on the new carpet– hey lady, check out the dog’s food!], and the horriffic cry of “Oh God, make him stop—–T-O-B-Y!!]

3) US Window Factory
a) the British guy who says “I don’t even live here, but I’m gonna move here……..”
b) the woman with the white lips outlined in red, 70s-style big disco hair, and the Lawn Guylind twang
“so cawl us; we’ll instawl yaw windahs…”
4) Empire Today 800-588-2300…… see?

5) The Grand Prospect Hall — elaborate violin music, grand staircase, huge crystal chandeliers, so far so good, then the music crescendos, abruptly stops, fade to couple on the spiral steps proclaiming
“We Mek-a Your Drims Kem Troo” in an accent that sounds like a mixture of Eastern European, Russian, and newly-arrived Sicilian”

and finally, who can forget:

6) Optimum Triple Play, complete with bongos, bling, mermaids, and rates to call Puerto Rico, and a number that tattoos on the brain —- 877-393-4-4-4-8!

7) Time Warner’s response — man eating his daily “colon-blow” cereal, when the doorbell rings;
man looks through peephole to see nerd with a comb-over, and murmurs “this should be fun”,
man opens door, and nerd says “Good Morning. [while making elaborate rainbow-colored arc-shaped sweep of his hand] Have you heard about [pause] THE FIBER??”
Man holds up cereal bowl, and says “I think I’m taken care of in that area” uh-LOL?
8) ___________________________________ write in your own

The winning ad agency gets the “noodgie” award, which is a download of a fingernail scratching a chalkboard!