In a city like ours, there are times that our neighbors are a little too close for comfort.
I have one that I’m going to have one of those “not so comfortable” conversations with.

In the last 2 years, I’ve run into a neighbor of mine on more than one occasion. Yes, I know that’s normal, but I also know that it’s not normal to take someones friendly behavior as an invitation for flirting. Sometimes, nice is just nice. Some would call that being neighborly.

He’s invited me to his place for parties, but I’ve declined. Once, I did accept an invite for a drink, but as soon as I figured out that he was flirting, I made a point of stating that I wasn’t looking for any type of companionship of any kind. Seems that wasn’t enough to let him know that I wasn’t interested. One other time when I ran into him, I remember telling him that we shared a wall and that I wasn’t going there.
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Since I’m one of those people that likes to find new places to eat and drink, I subscribe to sites like Rare Daily, Thrillist, Urban Daddy, etc. to help me along.

Sadly, they review these places so early on that it’s hard to get a feel of what the place is really like. For me, it’s more about the entire experience than the food alone. After my recent visit to Via dei Mille, I was not only disappointed in the sites that I so often count on, but the service at the restaurant as well.

I set up a dinner for a friends birthday and because she wanted to wear the Tadashi dress that she won at the silent auction when we attended the GMHC Fashion Forward Event (I got to play spokes model for Hanne Apparel that night), I thought we should go someplace a little dressy. That’s when I consulted New York Magazine, Thrillist and Rare Daily and found Via dei Mille.

Here’s where they went wrong… and right. I don’t want to be completely unfair.
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No matter how many times you guys have heard that you sometimes act like dogs, it doesn’t mean that it’s ok for you to pee on us to mark your territory.

What I have witnessed – actually, what I have experienced recently is some seriously bad behavior.
Let me start by noting that most of the worst territory marking comes from our guy friends who do NOT know how to share.

I have a few friends that have been around for quite some time. The amount of time ranges from 20 years to 3 years. They are all quite different and like most friends, we’ve had our share of ups and downs, but recently a few of them have done their share of peeing. Is it the weather, the holidays, what? Well, whatever it is, you guys need to knock it off.

Do NOT think that just because you’ve known someone for a long time, that you’re owed something. Like some form of physical payment, or some help cheating on your wife/girlfriend. It’s not happening and you should be THRILLED that she won’t help you. Besides, it’s not her job to give you some form of momentary happiness or to save you from the relationship you are currently in. That’s your mess, fix it.
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A friend of mine and I were given tickets to the Knicks game last night. Yes, I know… they suck, but I’d be silly to turn down a night where I am going to be in a stadium full of men!

After the game was over, we stopped by Stout for one last drink. That’s when Jay and his friend Kevin came by to chat us up.

Kevin was fine, but this is the Top 10 list of things that Jay did and what you guys should avoid:

1. Keep the comments about her legs to yourself. You JUST met her. Tone it down unless she’s flirting with you and purposely showing off her legs.
2. When you “think” you’ve said something clever, don’t hold up your hand to give her the fist bump. It’s just as bad as the high five and trust me… you’re not all that clever.
3. If she lives in NYC and has stated that she loves it there, don’t try to convince her that Hoboken is better. NOTHING you say will convince her.
4. Do NOT chew gum while you’re talking to her. There is no need for anyone to watch you chew when you’re not in the middle of a meal. Have a mint if your breath is stinky.
5. Don’t drink out of her glass of water. It’s gross.
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If by some chance you have the guts to chat up a woman on the street, talk the talk, and be charming enough to get her number, here are a few things you should NOT do if you want to actually see her again.

1. Don’t call her the same night at 11pm to see if she wants to get together – especially if you have a tone in your voice that sounds like you’re looking for some action.

2. When she doesn’t call you back, it’s because she didn’t appreciate your gesture so it’s best to just lose her number.

3. Don’t call her a month later (clearly drunk) at 5am and leave a message telling her that you just had a dream about her and describe the dream in detail. Remember, you had a 5 minute conversation in the street… A MONTH AGO! You’re strangers.

Idiot. No self respecting woman will think that ANY of that is cute and she won’t call you back and waste an ounce of her breath on you either.

Clearly, this guy doesn’t have a clue. However, if you do meet a random woman on the street and want to increase your chances of seeing her again, think about calling her the next day (don’t send her a text, it’s cowardly) tell her it was nice to meet her and ask her if she’d like to go out sometime.
Simple, but it works.

I understand that on high humidity days like today, women want to check themselves out in a mirror just to make sure that their hair hasn’t frizzed to the point of no return and to see just how much their face is shining. Totally understandable.

What I DON’T understand is what I witnessed this morning.

I stopped into The Green Bean on my way to work since I didn’t have time to make my own coffee this morning. (late night after seeing the Police at Jones Beach and an early morning meeting) There was only one woman in front of me and after she paid for her breakfast, she started heading towards the door to leave. I placed my order, paid for my coffee and as I went to grab a napkin and sugar on my way out, I noticed that the woman was standing at the high table near the door that has a mirror above it. Before I go on, let me just point out that the Green Bean is TINY. (check out the picture)
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