Since I have not been working for a few weeks, I have become increasingly aware of this phenomenon plaguing our cities around the world. Normally, I guess I was oblivious to this natural, but somewhat unnatural wonder because I was trapped in an office I didn’t want to be in or I possibly just turned a blind eye. At first, I thought this might be an occurrence specific to the Upper East Side since that’s where I live, but it turns out it is not neighborhood or city specific. 

The Stroller Mom…

While standing on line to get a cup of coffee the other day, Stroller Mom # 1 kept bumping the back of my leg with her pram. I understand she was trying to rock her little bundle of joy (hell) to keep them calm and happy, but when I asked her to knock that shit off, she accused me of being in the way and said a few other colorful words of choice. Since I wasn’t pissed, just annoyed, I would have let her slide with “OMG, I didn’t realize, I’m so sorry.” That would be manners.

While walking into a shop to go buy things I don’t need, but want, I saw a lady approaching the door with a double-wide stroller. Ah, how cute. Twins. Huh-Huh. I held the door for said lady and she went through the door as was my intent to let her. Did I get a Thank You? NO. Nothing. Even though I am almost 40 years old, my mama would pop me on the side of the head if I didn’t say thank you in a scenario like this. Great, now there will be two more rude ass kids running wild in New York, thanks to their mother. She did have great boots though.

While walking up 2^nd Avenue in the 70s, a gaggle of four Stroller Moms were leaving the gym. I guess they attend the same yoga class. I had a little giggle to myself when I realized they all had matching prams. But I almost wanted to put a stick in their spokes when they all decided to walk four abreast and take up the entire sidewalk. Then they managed to become even more unaware of the world around them because one was sending a text, one on the phone. Meanwhile, the entire pedestrian population around them had to put themselves in potential danger by stepping into the street to get around them. Just plain rude.

I could go on and on with my observations of Stroller Moms. I have noticed that Stroller Dads tend not to have these bouts of rudeness and maintain full awareness of their environment.

I guess, what I am just trying to figure out is…why does pushing around a stroller give one the entitlement to be a total douche? It’s simple and basic politeness people.

I went to the Andrew W.K. show at Irving Plaza (Fillmore East or whatever) last night. It was a load of inspirational fist pumping fun. If you aren’t familiar with AWK then let me tell you about him, and what he means to me. When I was a wee lad back in college I heard his music for the first time. My hippy ideals of love and good feelings were thriving, but I was missing that fast danceable heavy metal music that every boy needs. Then I heard his songs “Party Hard” and “I love New York City” and I knew I had found the way.

It’s been 5 years since AWK has played a show with a full band. He has been doing some motivational speaking and playing some solo shows, mostly at his own club Santos Party House. He brought his original touring band back for one night in New York City, the place he calls home. He poured out his love for NYC with some rather sappy words that had some people a little misty. Mostly though, he played his crazy amazing music that had the entire crowd partying hard. A classic circle pit was formed as people picked each other up off of the floor instead of purposely kicking them down. New York City wanted fun and AWK gave it full force!

As a new puppy owner, I often find myself wandering the lower east side and trying to understand things from my puppy’s point of view.

Sometimes I overthink for him, and sometimes I am completely baffled when I choose the human perspective. so many sights, smells, people, noises, EVERYTHING, going on all at once. Often its overwhelming for me, so I can’t imagine from BLT’s p.o.v how shocking it is. Being the human of a good looking dog I do meet an odd cross-section of people. Everyone from grandparents, dog walkers, other dog lovers, kids, and even postal employees want to stop and pet my dog. I’m cool with this. I mean, he is REALLY cute!
I do think about how being a dog owner affects other people in new york. Are people on the train annoyed that I have a puppy in my lap? Some of them certainly appear to be. As a resident of Jersey City who works in Manhattan, I take the PATH and the MTA. Surprisingly most people on the MTA are more into the dog. Are they less sensitive? Is it a better group? On the PATH I feel like everyone is unhappy and dreading the ride to work. I love my job, and I love people watching so, the morning ( well really late morning ) ride into the city is fun for me. Bacon seems to enjoy it, he snuggles into his messenger bag and falls asleep almost instantly. If it’s nice and I have time, I walk from 9th st & 6th ave to Allen St & Delancey. If the weather is crap or I’m running late, I hop on the F train and hope it’s running somewhat normally. People on the F are dare I say, enchanted with the dog. He’s very sweet and quiet and chill so most people are interested. However we trek from west to east village, BLT is amicable. Once we get to work, he curls up on his little bed and waits until people show up so he can greet and cuddle with anyone who wishes to enjoy a puppy for half and hour or more.
After my day is over, we trek back to the train, repeat the morning’s activities and head home. At the end of the night people are generally in a better mood. I’m usually exhausted and wishing my dog didn’t weigh 25lbs so holding him on my sore-from-the-day’s-work back didn’t hurt exponentially more. Sometimes a kind person will offer me a seat. Depending on my day, I might take them up on it.
With doggy daycare, kind strangers willing to offer a scratch, numerous dog parks and a plethora of food bits and other dog butts to enjoy, the life of a dog in Manhattan is pretty damn good. I hope I get reincarnated as a dog. Any breed or mutt will do. But I do hope it’s a NYC metro-area dog, they seem to have it the best.

I was out having dinner the other night in Manhattan when a super awesome diner reared his drunk head. My wife and I were sitting down to enjoy our meal and became aware of a “situation” at a near by table. It seemed drunky crow, old man booze hound was getting into an argument with, what was later to be determined as, his ex wife. Sweet. There is fairly constant uncomfortable arguing going on when old man awesome starts arguing that yes, in fact, he does have a trust fund. This is met with stern opposition from his plastic surgery laden ex. Clearly, she believed his trust fund was not a reality. We went back to our meal. When their check came it was discovered that although Mr. Super Awesome had yakked his first coarse of veal scallopini onto his plate, his ex was certain that he had not finished his rather expensive fish entree. Therefore he shouldn’t have to pay for it. I mean this is a logical thought right? I didn’t finish it, so I don’t have to pay for it. Clearly having a trust fund entitles one to many things, like this nice restaurant perk! At this point the restaurant staff is keen on getting this inebriated couple out of their establishment. On their way out, Mr. and Ex Mrs. Awesome share a private moment where they play tug of war with their umbrella. Isn’t love (and large amounts of booze, trust fund money, and awesomeness) grand? Sometimes I get the feeling that some New Yorkers feel very entitled to things. Often it is something that they assume they deserve and act very rude when confronted with the idea that they do not.