Melissa’s Tough Love: Stop Flirting with Your Neighbors

In a city like ours, there are times that our neighbors are a little too close for comfort.
I have one that I’m going to have one of those “not so comfortable” conversations with.

In the last 2 years, I’ve run into a neighbor of mine on more than one occasion. Yes, I know that’s normal, but I also know that it’s not normal to take someones friendly behavior as an invitation for flirting. Sometimes, nice is just nice. Some would call that being neighborly.

He’s invited me to his place for parties, but I’ve declined. Once, I did accept an invite for a drink, but as soon as I figured out that he was flirting, I made a point of stating that I wasn’t looking for any type of companionship of any kind. Seems that wasn’t enough to let him know that I wasn’t interested. One other time when I ran into him, I remember telling him that we shared a wall and that I wasn’t going there.

Time went by and I thought he got hint. Wrong! He came by the other day and he thought he was being charming, but he hasn’t been paying attention. I’m not stupid and I’m not like one of the other chickies in his life that are either insecure or looking for a quick fix. Why do I say that? Because he thinks I would fall for that. He actually believes that just because he says he’s making this fake resolution to spend more time with me in 2009 that he has charmed my pants off. Nice try. I’m just going to make a real counter resolution to steer clear of him in 2009.

Fact is, he’s not interested. You see, if he were (for all the right reasons), he’d handle things differently. I also know when someone is really interested in me and that’s not it. Calling your neighbor a “hottie” just to see if that’ll work on her when everything else has failed is creepy and stupid. Unfortunately for him, it doesn’t matter how he handled it. I’m not interested and that’s not something that anyone can change.

Oh, and for those hopeless romantics out there that think that we could suddenly fall head over heels for each other, I have this bit of advice for you… stop watching chick flicks. I have similar advice for those guys that think that your neighbor is suddenly going to want you… stop watching so much porn.

Because our neighbors are so close, you try to soften the blow a bit and not be as harsh as you might want to be. After all, you may need them for something neighborly one day. In the case of my situation, I figure that since he doesn’t seem to care that he’s making me uncomfortable and invading my space, I’ll have to make him uncomfortable and handle things in a not so neighborly way.

I’ll let you know when he moves out. :)

Look, if you really are interested in your neighbor for all the right reasons, be upfront and honest. Don’t play games and don’t get pissy if you find out they don’t share the same feelings. If you do, everyone will be uncomfortable and that’s no way to start the new year.

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