Melissa’s Tough Love: Stop peeing on us!!!

No matter how many times you guys have heard that you sometimes act like dogs, it doesn’t mean that it’s ok for you to pee on us to mark your territory.

What I have witnessed – actually, what I have experienced recently is some seriously bad behavior.
Let me start by noting that most of the worst territory marking comes from our guy friends who do NOT know how to share.

I have a few friends that have been around for quite some time. The amount of time ranges from 20 years to 3 years. They are all quite different and like most friends, we’ve had our share of ups and downs, but recently a few of them have done their share of peeing. Is it the weather, the holidays, what? Well, whatever it is, you guys need to knock it off.

Do NOT think that just because you’ve known someone for a long time, that you’re owed something. Like some form of physical payment, or some help cheating on your wife/girlfriend. It’s not happening and you should be THRILLED that she won’t help you. Besides, it’s not her job to give you some form of momentary happiness or to save you from the relationship you are currently in. That’s your mess, fix it.

Do NOT get pissed off when she won’t let you buy her something. It will not change her mind about you. Just be happy that she’s not taking advantage of you.

Do NOT throw her a bunch of compliments about how she looks. It’s annoying and it will probably make her feel as if you only think of her as an object. One well intended compliment will do wonders.

When she mentions that she’s with someone or is interested in someone, it’s best that you don’t act like a two year old who’s toy has been taken away from him. Stop your pouting. If you’re NOT in a relationship, don’t expect her to know that you’re interested. She does not have a crystal ball and this is not going to end like a movie. Stay AWAY from the chick-flicks. If you are in a relationship… shame on you.

When you’re drunk, don’t tell her that no one loves her like you do. It’s creepy and pathetic.

If you both happen to be invited to the same event, don’t throw out hints as if you’re going “together”. It’s not a date if you don’t ask.

If you did happen to attempt the dating thing at one point and it didn’t work out, it’s NOT ok to call her, text her, or email her telling her how great things were with her (even though you have a girlfriend now) because you think that’ll prevent her from dating someone else. It won’t.

Here’s the thing. If you like her for all the right reasons, suck it up, be a man and tell her… to her face. Regardless of what you think her answer is going to be.

If she wants to give it a whirl, great! Just remember that you still have to work at things and you can’t take her for granted. You’re supposed to be her friend and know and appreciate her better than a stranger would.

If she just doesn’t see you that way, then you should be relieved that you got it out of your system and things can go back to the way they were… and they will. Of course, if she’s a total bitch about it even though you were a complete gentleman, then get rid of her as a friend too. Look at it this way, you dodged a bullet.

2 Comments so far

  1. atom on December 11th, 2008 @ 11:14 am

    Men are such assholes. It’s a good thing I’m a lesbian! wait, no I’m not. Drat. Well at least I consider myself one of the good guys.

  2. Melissa (nyc_melissa) on December 11th, 2008 @ 11:28 am

    You’re better than good – you’re one of the Great ones. Even if you are a lesbian. :)

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