I have a room for rent in my apartment. It’s cheap and small and cheerful (and on Craigslist). In the 12 hours that the ad has been up I have received 15 responses, all very earnest and friendly, but I’m really noticing a pattern. Everyone is laid back, clean, and responsible. Everyone. Well… a few are “lade” back and one is even “layed” back but you get the point. I’m not even sure what laid back means in modern context anymore. Do I care if they’re laid back? Am I laid back? And of course you are clean. Everyone is clean… until you’re not. I’m clean too, except in my own bedroom which looks like monkeys live there. Responsible is another adjective that I don’t really get in this context. Responsible to who? Your three kids? Responsible for a dozen murders? Or do you just mean that you pay rent on time? Does that need to be said? I would assume it was a given, frankly. About half the respondents are from out of state, but moving here for school in a few weeks. Great…. but I’d love to have this settled by then, and I want to actually meet you before you show up at my door with a bindle on your back. I also mentioned that I am planning on getting a kitten soon, mainly to warn anyone who is allergic but that seems to be a cue to anyone else who has a pet that their animal would be welcome as well. So far I have offers for a dog, two cats, and a parrot. They also all seem to want to reassure me that they enjoy living with others, and that they get along well with roommates.

I’m sure one of these people will end up sleeping in my apartment for the next year, but really… how did the script for this sort of thing become so standardized? Is it written down somewhere? The people responding to this ad must have found a form letter online it seems.