So I slipped on my Mets Jersey and barreled out to Shea with hopes in my heart to see the orange and blue clinch their first division in nearly twenty years. Below I’ve listed a few new things I now know:

1.) According to very drunk Mets fans, I, apparently, look a “hullava-lot” like Chad Pennington.
2.) Looking like Chad Pennington will not help you get a chant going a Shea. There are a lot of Giants fans there.
3.) Any three words or syllables can become a chant: “Lets Go Mets,” “N.L. East,” “That’s not bad!” (Directed at Trachel) “Need More Beer” (Directed at everyone during the dry ninth inning.)
4.) Clapping for nine innings straight with give you what looks like sun-burn of the palm.
5.) Screaming for nine innings straight makes you happy they invented text messaging.
6.) You can hug a fellow Met fan for three whole seconds after a clinch before it gets creepy.
7.) I hate the Dodgers. To parse this: The new Stadium being built to replace Shea…it’s based on Ebbets Field. That was the Dodgers, not the Mets, people. Oh…and what do they want to call the new Stadium? Jackie Robinson Stadium. Now that man deserves a building, he does…but again…he was with the Dodgers, not the Mets, people. And what do I wake up to this morning? Dodgers steal the headlines knocking out four home runs, back-to-back-to-back-to-back. Then winning it with a Nomaaarrr walk-off home run. Grumble. (Do Dodger fans say Nomar’s name like they’re from Boston? I can’t hear the name without the drawl.) I look to the NLDS for catharsis.
8.) I’m slowly warming to the “The Team. The Time. The Mets” slogan they’ve had all year.

And finally…

9.) Even when you’re full of happy thoughts, and the day seems to be going your way left, right, and center, if it’s past nine o’clock and you’re waiting for the G train, you will always, always, always end up spending enough time on the platform to put a dent in Proust.

P.S. Mets win.