Greatest Fictional New Yorkers #12: Newman

12---newman.gifName: Newman
Neighborhood of Choice: Upper West Side
Occupation: Postal Carrier
Memorable Quote: “Hello, Jerry.”

Newman is the ultimate New York curmudgeon. This lazy, conniving fellow hates his job with the United States Postal Service and will do anything to spite his enemies.

While his peers snap up gym memberships and extended hours at work, Newman, renegade that he is, prefers to eat at home on his couch and call in sick to work whenever the mood strikes. Despite his slovenly lifestyle, Newman has been known to snag a hot girlfriend or two (score one for the underdog! that’s part of why we love him). He’s even shared lady loves with his nemesis, neighbor Jerry Seinfeld.

Despite his steady job and comfy enough apartment on West 81st Street, Newman longs to leave New York. After an unsuccessful attempt to win a transfer within the USPS to Hawaii, Newman came to terms with that classic New York revelation: you think you want to leave, but really, you don’t…and anyway, once you get here, you’re stuck.

Newman has a friend in neighbor Cosmo Kramer and an enduring crush on Elaine Benes, the ex-girlfriend of his nemesis Jerry. Chances are, he’ll never have more than a few friends. Chances are, he’ll never settle down or leave the Postal Service. Good ol’ Newman, set in his ways, oblivious to the changing city around him. For his dedication to not being dedicated, we salute him.

More info: Newman on Wikipedia

Other fictional New Yorkers in this series

2 Comments so far

  1. Doris Night (unregistered) on August 16th, 2006 @ 2:41 pm

    great memorable quote.

  2. Deon (unregistered) on August 19th, 2006 @ 3:13 pm

    What about Josh Baskin? The kid from BIG?

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