My Very Educated Mother Just Sent Us Nine Pizzas


This morning’s AM New York included mention of NASAs Pluto probe which will jettison through the cosmos snapping camera-phone pics of famous alienrities like Marvin the Martian, Orbitty and Terri Hatcher. Pluto was the only planet discovered by a private citizen, Clyde Tombaugh, whose 93 year-old widow Patricia is quoted as saying “They are finally going! I can’t believe it!” Know what I can’t believe AM New York? That 93 year-old Patricia was as excited as your exclamation points would have us believe. I don’t want to say you made it up, but yeah, pretty much.

Here are some more likely examples of what 93 year-old Patricia Tombaugh said in response:

“Hello?….Hello?…Hello?…Is this Sal?

“(Inaudible sobbing)”

“So I says to Mabel, I says…”

“My cat’s name is Pluto. What? You want to talk to him? Pluto, c’mere Pluto”

“Don’t tell Clyde, but I’ve always secretly contested that Pluto (and by extension its large moon Charon) is simply condensed ice and does not adhere to the scientifically defined characteristics of a “planet.”

“Angel of Death? Please take me with you deary”

“I’m sorry, she’s not available. This is her nurse Sherry. Why can’t she come to the phone? Umm, cos she’s 93 years-old asshole!”

“Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”

1 Comment so far

  1. cathy (unregistered) on February 8th, 2006 @ 3:26 pm

    hilarious, honey. love, mom

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