Where relationships fear to tred ?

My friend, recently returned to New York for a brief stint between college and everything else, is a serial monogamist. However, she also has an incredible history of cheating on her boyfriends. Of course, I love her and don’t judge her, but after a recent incident I had to posit, “Honey, do you think you should maybe just be SINGLE for a while?” She pondered this a moment before concluding (and this is why we love this girl), “I think its something about this city … I only cheat on my boyfriends here in New York.”

Initially I was skeptical, but the odds were stacked in her favor: she leaves the city for vacation or college, and she finds herself in monogamous, cohabitative, committed bliss; she comes back to the city for a week and suddenly she’s shacked up with someone new. And its not just her, either; a friend of mine at college was literally engaged (everything but the ring, thank goodness) when she returned to the city and found herself in bed with a guy who had almost cartoonishly screwed her over years before.

So what is it about this city that encourages infidelity ? My monogamista thought there were just too many options; too many people to meet, too many things to do, too many ways to forget yourself. At school, we talk about a Dartmouth bubble up, meaning that the students at the insulated liberal arts college forget the rules and consequences of reality in order to engage in wacky, socially destructive fun without worry.

So I ask yous, Is there a New York bubble?

2 Comments so far

  1. ~dana (unregistered) on May 26th, 2005 @ 12:38 pm

    I honestly don’t know–I’ve been a monogamous relationship for so long I hardly even remember what hooking up is. But I will say this, there is a lot of eye candy and the friends I have who are in and out of relationships all cheat…all the time. I think there is more of everything in NYC and that certainly makes things easier. But…this happens everywhere. I just think maybe they are more willing to talk about it here in NYC. Either that or people are more willing to risk a possibly good monogamous relationship by cheating cause they know if they get caught they won’t be alone for long. Either way it

  2. Art (unregistered) on May 28th, 2005 @ 11:37 pm

    “a guy who had almost cartoonishly screwed her over years before.”

    does that mean he, like, actually turned into a screw? or, “almost” did?


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