As a regular subway commuter I’ve heard many conductors announce stations, transfers, service changes. Most of them hate their jobs as is evident from their purposefully sloppy pronunciation, false information, and the general tone of contempt in their voice. They’d rather be above ground drinking wine coolers or something rather than wear those crappy MTA uniforms and be exposed to daily abuse by impatient and fed up commuters while working for the worst run non-profit in the world.
Nevertheless, once in a while the conductor was born to be a conductor and you will know it when you hear her/him. Sometimes they don’t limit their announcements to the above-mentioned topics but use their microphone booth as a sort of soap box. Sometimes they also communicate in an excessively happy singsongy voice, which really gets annoying after about two stops.
Anyway, here’s an example of a conductor/social critic:
A few days ago, at the York Street stop the train was waiting in the station for a rather long time. The doors tried to close and kept opening, etc. This usually means that someone’s holding the doors or that there’s a door problem (and you don’t want a door problem).
The conductor announces, “Ladies and Gentlemen! When there are train delays, don’t blame the MTA, blame your fellow passengers who are holding the doors open. They are usually causing the delays.”
(I’m sure at this point everyone in the car in which some kids were holding open the doors was just staring them down with the signature big city-you’re making me late-death look.)
Then. “Ladies and Gentlemen. I would like to remind you that this is a PUBLIC transportation system not a private one.”
And then. “Attention Parents: Using your children as doorstoppers is borderline child abuse.”
At this point the tension in the train dissolved into that wonderful moment when everyone looks up from their reading, makes careful eye contact with the other passengers, and exchanges barely visible grins.
The doors closed and we were off.