Archive for December, 2004

Is it Safe?

DC Metroblogger (and my former college roommate!) Michael Darpino blogged here about the Most Dangerous Cities in America list and how DC is now back to #2 Most Dangerous for cities with more than 500k populations. How does our fair city fare on this list, praytell? Well we don

Sara Schaefer Is Interviewed for You


Sara Schaefer does a really funny, sweet talk show at Juvie Hall called Sara Schaefer Is Obsessed with You: it lightly spoofs officeland and latenighttalkshowland in equal measure, moving from guest to sketch and back with warm, easy grace. It features celebrity and musical guests and, without fail, an actor who’s been on Law & Order. Today, Gothamist ran an interview with Sara.

As far as guests go, I don’t know how it works. I guess [real TV talk shows] have this list of people who want to promote their movies and such, and you pick from that? I’d rather get people that I personally am obsessed with. Like practically everyone on the Food Network, except that lady Ina who does Barefoot Contessa. She really pisses me off. I’d also love to have Tori Amos as a guest. I am really obsessed with her, and she’s a complete nut, so I think it’d make for great entertainment. I’d be sobbing uncontrollably while she burns sage and ritualistically dry-humps the goddess of my desk.

The next SSIOWY is on January 14th. Enjoy the interview.

I smell a rat…(not for the squeemish)

Last week, on a leisurly stroll to the L train I came upon one of the most disturbing pieces of litter I’ve ever seen–even by Williamsburg standards. Someone had dumped their old mattress on the street. It was so old that one might have mistaken it for a futon, because you know, mattresses aren’t supposed to fold in half. Someone had cut the mattress across its middle exposing its springs and…RATS!!! How do I know there were rats inside you ask. Well, within a 5 foot radius around the rat’s nest were up to three squashed rodents. AGH! BLEH! Good morning! It’s been at least 7 days and the mattress is still sitting on N4th b/t Berry and Wythe waiting for it’s next tenants perhaps?

Welcome to winter

A few snowflakes made their way to NYC today and it looks like they will continue to fall throughout the night and into morning.

There was a time when I would be excited about the first snowfall of the season, but I’m old and jaded now. These days when I think “snow” I think “major pain in the ass.” Snow can be pretty to look at and in theory it’s a wondrous event. but in practice… it sucks. It’s messy and cold and it screws up every form of transportation in the city, including subways that are far underground and nowhere near the surface that the snow is covering!

When you are a kid, you associate snow with a day off from school. But as an adult, you can’t just put work and life on hold for a snow day. So maybe it’s not snow itself that I dislike so much. Maybe it’s being reminded that I’m not a kid who gets snow days anymore, in school with no other responsibilities, no other cares in the world, that I really hate.

If you have the luxury of being able to take a personal snow day tomorrow, I advise you to do it :) And if there is enough snow on the ground – make some snow angels in my honor!

Valkyrie Needs Food–badly!

Wow, we are all a bunch of slackers! The month of December is coming to a close and this will be the fourth post. FOUR!?! Seriously, WTF? I have been over here trapped in my own personal hell and following a self-imposed “If you can’t blog anything nice, don’t blog anything at all” rule–what’s everyone else’s excuse?

With this post my long blogging draught comes to a close–I finally have something worth writing about! Last night my boyfriend and I checked out this bar a few blocks from our new home. Barcade

the silver screen

There really is something different about old black and white movies. The constraints of the technology in the 50’s forced the directors to use light in such beautiful ways, and to rely more on good writing and acting and less on cheesy after-effects (not to mention CGI).

Anyone looking to brush up their film chops, or just have an excellent night at the movies without feeling like you paid $10 to watch a two-hour long Audi commercial, should check out the Film Forum’s Essential Noir, going on now until Christmas. 34 classic noir films, shown as double-features, a new pair every few days. Last night I saw the Philip Marlowe special: Murder, My Sweet and The Big Sleep. The booze! The cigarettes! The backstabbing women! The crooked cops! It’s all there, and more.

My advice? Get there early. I’ve been a few times so far, and it’s been sold out every time. And all the old people who thought “Finally! A movie in which sex is only implied by a lamp being turned off!” are really irritable and don’t want to get up to let you get popcorn. But it’s worth it, trust me. You’ll want to bring a notebook to write down all the great lines. And if you’re not careful, you might find yourself at work the next day saying to one of your coworkers, “Now just quit your yappin’ and bring me a bourbon.” Don’t forget your fedora.

Catch the ebb tide at the Met; Learn to walk

Each year, Mark Hurst writes a gift guide for POGs (Parents of Geeks), which tells the earnest parents of technophiles what camera/computer/cheaper gizmo to give their young cyborg this year. The Gift Guide is useful, though pretty standard (no-brainers like “get ’em an iPod”), and the Almanac section is a humorous catchall ranging from good advice (How to Decide Which Seafood to Eat) to pedantic instruction (How to Leave a Telephone Message). Somewhere in between lay these two tips for New Yorkers, permanent or touristical, on When to Visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art and How To Walk in New York City:

“The Met” is one of the busiest tourist attractions in New York City, on weekends. If you go to see one of the more popular exhibitions, you can wait in a line minutes or longer, then only to be admitted into a gallery space packed with visitors. Here’s a way to see the Met with no lines, no crowds, and no fuss: go on the busiest day Avenue, the street outside the Met. This would be the Sunday in June of the Puerto Rican Parade, the most popular Fifth Avenue parade of the year. Once you make it through the crowd into the Met, you’ll find that you have the museum almost all to yourself. […]

Walking in New York is like driving on a highway. There are rules, and there are safety risks if people don’t follow them. Even if you don’t live in New York City, you can apply walking rules to wherever you live and walk. Here is the most important walking rule: Don’t make sudden changes in course. Don’t suddenly stop, or change your speed. Don’t change directions suddenly for no reason, and don’t make a surprise about-face. Just like driving on the highway: don’t act unpredictably. If you have to walk (or drive) slowly, at least do it predictably, so that people around you can travel safely.

(found on BoingBoing)


10k martini.jpg

…But THIS is insane. Well, of course, if someone bought it for me I would definitely drink it, but just like Dorothy Parker I would be more interested in the martini (specifically the Gin–I wonder what kind they use?) than the diamond. Afterall, she wrote one of my favorite alcoholic quips:

“I like a good martini,
One or two at the most.
After one I’m under the table,
After two, I’m under the host.”

But personally I think it

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