So, you are in the restroom in a public building. Let’s say you’re in the stall next to, or perhaps standing at a urinal. In one of the stalls you hear a phone ring. If it was you would you

A)Pick it up without thinking
B)Check the caller ID and only pick it up if you know you need to take the call
C)Pick it up because you are in the fucking bathroom taking an audible shit

Well dude in the stall next to me chose C.

What would you choose?

Before you start going ballistic over the title of the post hear me out.

I ride my motorcycle to work everyday from Brooklyn to Chelsea. And as a regular user of the same streets shared by cars, bicyclists and pedestrians, my observation is that when it comes to disobeying the rules of the road, no one beats the bicyclists.

On any given day, 90% of bicyclists I encounter blatantly flout the traffic lights. 1 out of 10 will stop for them the way they should. All the others just zig zag past oncoming cars or go down the pedestrian crossings.

Another very common issue is bicyclists riding in the opposite direction of traffic in bike lanes. Just because there is a bike lane does not mean that you can ride in any direction in a one-way street. And when pointed out, bicyclists dont even realize that they are breaking the law.

Yes, I will be the first to agree that bicycling is environmentally sound. And that more of us should be doing it. All of that is true. But that is another topic for another post.

As much as bicyclists have a chip on their shoulder about using the streets with others, I would really like to see some sort of enforced discipline, because surely they are not a self-disciplined lot.

Every single day I see at least one incident where a bicyclist misses being a casualty in an accident. All because they did not follow the rules.

So in that circumstance, I am amused when these same bicyclist target the cars and trucks and motorcycle for their misgivings.  Cities will have traffic and cars and stuff. That is why they are cities and not suburbs or the countryside. So if you want to exist in the city, it would be nice to first follow the rules and then fight with fellow users of the same streets.

I don’t know what’s funnier - that local NBC newscaster Sue Simmons dropped an f-bomb in a live promo spot for the 11:00 news on Monday night, or that the NY Times wrote a 2-page article about it.

Look, I know she’s a newscaster and should remain professional on the air. Apparently she wasn’t aware the promo spot was live - most of the time they are taped and edited later - so she slipped up. I’m sure plenty of newscasters and other on-air professionals do this all the time. And it’s not like you don’t hear the f-bomb dropped every day walking around New York City streets. Hell, you might even see it on this blog later today. Shocking!

In any case, she apologized. Let it go, NY Times. Find some other minor thing to make a fuss over.

If you happen to be in midtown this weekend and see some art walking down the street, don’t be alarmed! The art is in the form of tattoos, and the wearers are probably in town to attend the NYC Tattoo Convention at the Roseland Ballroom. This is approximately the one millionth year that the NYC convention has been at Roseland, and it’s always a good time, even if you just go there for people-watching. Lots of amazing artists, both local and from all over the world, come to this convention, some of whom you’d have to travel a very long way to see otherwise. Some of my favorites include New York Adorned’s Chris O’Donnell (just around the corner in Brooklyn) and Dan DiMattia of Calypso Tattoo (usually very far away in Liège, Belgium). There are also plenty of piercers on hand if you want to acquire a new hole or some new jewelry for an existing one, and several companies selling tattoo-themed wares such as Lucky Girl Handbags. I’ll be heading over to the convention sometime this weekend, probably hovering somewhere near the Lucky Girl booth trying not to drool on their handbags. (What? They’re very nice.)

The NYC Tattoo Convention is this Friday, May 16 through Sunday, May 18th at Roseland Ballroom on 52nd Street, just west of Broadway. Hours and ticket info are on their website. See you there!

Photo from hamishrobertson.com

Something that’s always struck me about New York rainstorms is their affect on your umbrella. After almost any major rainstorm, you can walk through the city streets and find the corpses of many ruined umbrellas who could not handle the wind of the storm. I have struggled with my own flimsy umbrella which is conveniently collapsible, but will flip out with the slightest gust. I tried going the raincoat route, using something I affectionately called my urban poncho, but my hood bothered me by constantly falling in front of my eyes and obscuring my peripheral vision.

Yesterday I had it. I was sick of holding my umbrella down to avoid (or just hold off) the flip out. I’d been eying those adorable, clear, dome umbrellas and yesterday I decided to buy one. The second I stepped out into the rain it was worth it. I had to walk a few avenues and found myself securely underneath a strong (yet cute) umbrella, watching the many suffering umbrellas around me that might not have lasted the night.

Last night, I saw something I’ve never seen before - either in the city or anywhere else. At Regal Cinemas in Union Square, after seeing the movie Iron Man (which I thoroughly enjoyed and recommend), the men’s bathroom had a line twice the size of the ladies bathroom. It was bizarre. The men’s line wrapped out into the hallway, while there was barely a wait for the women’s. I don’t whether it had something to do with the gender ratio of the audience for Iron Man, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before!

I run around the city quite a bit, on foot, on the subway, and sometimes in cabs. I try not to take cabs as often as I used to because public transportation is cheaper, greener, and better for me, what with all the walking and climbing stairs and whatnot. But sometimes, when I have to race from a doctor’s appointment in SoHo to a customer meeting on the UES, I gotta deal with the cabs.

I have a love/hate relationship with NYC taxis. One of the things I’ve come to like for its convenience yet despise for its annoyances are the credit card/infotainment devices in the back of most (if not all) cabs now. They’re touch-screens, and they have the option for you to turn them off, which I always do for a couple of reasons - one, I don’t want to watch TV all the time, and two, I get motion sickness if I read things while I’m in a moving car, and I just can’t tear my eyes away from the news ticker when it’s on. However, a few weeks ago, I was in a cab whose touch screen didn’t work. I couldn’t turn it off - the mute “button” didn’t work, nor did the off button. The driver couldn’t override it either. So I just hung my head out the window, much like a dog, and tried to ignore it.

I also had the privilege of seeing one of them reboot itself after an error. It was running Windows 2000. Way to stay current!

I do like the ability to pay via credit card. I usually pay cash, and always tip in cash, but every once in a while I have to get somewhere and don’t have the cash on hand. I know the last couple of taxi strikes were about this issue (among others) - the drivers said that many people who pay by credit card don’t tip and they get less of a cut because of the credit card fees.

So what do you think? Do you like the little news and ad TVs in the cabs? Like the convenience of the credit card machines?  Think cabs are for rich yuppie assholes? Confess!

Photo from Wikipages.com

Brooklyn Botanic Gardens is hosting the annual Cherry Tree Festival this weekend. This event usually draws a large crowd, including many people dressed as Japanese anime characters. Last year, the gardens looked beautiful with the trees bursting in shades of pink and white. I haven’t made it there yet this year, but the festival continues tomorrow until 6 pm.

Photo from http://davidgaw.typepad.com

I just rode on a NJ Transit double decker train for the first time. I have to admit, these trains look pretty sweet. They definitely offer more space, helpful during the craziness of rush hour. The only problem I had was with the seats facing alternating directions every car (not as common on the standard trains). I ended up rushing to a backwards facing seat (not my favorite way to travel).

Photo from wikipedia.org

I sighted one of these today for the second time this past week - a wolf-dog hybrid. This one was enjoying the weather with its owner in Washington Square Park. The other was taking a walk in Central Park. Now they might be very well-trained, but both times I walked past these canine creatures, I felt a little nervous. Seems a little risky keeping something one step away from the wild as a pet.