Riding in a subway car with only one other person in it is scary for most people. Me? I don’t know. I’d like to think that this other dude was just as scared of me. Yeah. Because of all my muscles and testosterone, and my I-know-martial-arts body stances. Or, something like that.

One time, my friend Clare and I decided to ride the 6 train after the last stop at Brooklyn Bridge, when the train makes the loop back around to go Uptown — we wanted to see the abandoned City Hall station. And, on some level, we wanted to be rule-breakers, rebels, the edgy young people that have ruined society, as badass as Zack and the gang when they illegally slept overnight inside a mall to be the first ones there to get tickets for a concert. But, you know, this being New York and all, we were already cooler than the Saved by the Bell kids. Just a little bit.

Anyway, on the other end of the car sat an old homeless man, who was completely passed out. Clare was facing me and the I was facin’ the smelly dude. All of a sudden, I look at Clare because the man is coming toward us, and she reaches out and grabs my arm, trembling in horror with mouth hung open and eyes buggin’ out of her head. THEN! I said just kidding. It was a joke.

This should confirm for some of you that I really am an asshole. You were right.

But, even though I aged Clare about 20 years in the process, it was worth it. The reaction was priceless.

Now, every time it’s just me and one other dude in a car, I laugh about the whole thing. And, when there’s no one else? Well, then I sing, sing, sing like no one can hear me. Until someone from the next car actually does, or if I’m in the last car, the engineer pokes his head out and tells me to shut the hell up.

People no longer enjoy Queen songs, I guess.

Related posts:

1. SUBWAY FOLK: We’re Okay Now
2. SUBWAY FOLK: Can’t Touch This
3. SUBWAY FOLK: Creatures of the Underground
4. SUBWAY FOLK: The Amazing Subway-Man
5. SUBWAY FOLK: Automated Apologies