Comments on: A Commuter’s Manifesto (Part I) http://nyc.metblogs.com/2008/07/19/a-commuters-manifesto-part-i/ Sun, 22 Nov 2009 05:58:39 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: bonywhite http://nyc.metblogs.com/2008/07/19/a-commuters-manifesto-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-5585 bonywhite Sun, 20 Jul 2008 23:28:50 +0000 http://nyc.metblogs.com/2008/07/19/a-commuters-manifesto-part-i/#comment-5585 Are there separate rules for locals and tourists? In my experience, tourists tend to mull in doorways having conversations about how awesome it is to be in the doorway rather than being back at home wasting their own oxygen supplies. Say, for instance, I am seeking entrance into my favorite watering hole, but Buffy McHerd and his tranquilized closet-lesbian wife are blocking the entrance. Is it acceptable to set her fake COACH clutch purse on fire, or is that a message only locals will understand? I notice that in my own small village of culturally sensitive throwback hippies and conspiracy theorists, New Yorkers have similar problems navigating the sidewalk and doorways. Granted, our mud hovels make it difficult for the average New Yorker to enter a building without crouching, but where I am from, crouching doesn't last the amount of time it takes to kick a New Yorker in the balls. I find that New Yorkers visiting Santa Fe respond positively to rage-induced nut-sackery,but I still believe they vacation here because they believe they are ENTITLED to linger in doorways by virtue of their assumed metropolitan superiority. It is, in effect, the main reason they left New York: to crouch here. In the interest of cultural understanding, could you pass on to your fellow city dwellers this staggering bit of news?: My village, just like your village, operates on the assumption that people who dilly-dally should do so against a wall, out of the flow of traffic, and out of the doorways. In return, I promise to spread the good word that — unless they want a size 11.5 Red Wing boot shoved deep inside their anal cavity — Santa Feans should follow similar rules of commuting while visiting the best city in the world. We're still working on the spitting ... and what's an iPod? Are there separate rules for locals and tourists? In my experience, tourists tend to mull in doorways having conversations about how awesome it is to be in the doorway rather than being back at home wasting their own oxygen supplies. Say, for instance, I am seeking entrance into my favorite watering hole, but Buffy McHerd and his tranquilized closet-lesbian wife are blocking the entrance. Is it acceptable to set her fake COACH clutch purse on fire, or is that a message only locals will understand?

I notice that in my own small village of culturally sensitive throwback hippies and conspiracy theorists, New Yorkers have similar problems navigating the sidewalk and doorways. Granted, our mud hovels make it difficult for the average New Yorker to enter a building without crouching, but where I am from, crouching doesn’t last the amount of time it takes to kick a New Yorker in the balls. I find that New Yorkers visiting Santa Fe respond positively to rage-induced nut-sackery,but I still believe they vacation here because they believe they are ENTITLED to linger in doorways by virtue of their assumed metropolitan superiority. It is, in effect, the main reason they left New York: to crouch here.

In the interest of cultural understanding, could you pass on to your fellow city dwellers this staggering bit of news?:

My village, just like your village, operates on the assumption that people who dilly-dally should do so against a wall, out of the flow of traffic, and out of the doorways. In return, I promise to spread the good word that — unless they want a size 11.5 Red Wing boot shoved deep inside their anal cavity — Santa Feans should follow similar rules of commuting while visiting the best city in the world. We’re still working on the spitting … and what’s an iPod?

]]> By: nativegothamgirl http://nyc.metblogs.com/2008/07/19/a-commuters-manifesto-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-5584 nativegothamgirl Sun, 20 Jul 2008 03:16:04 +0000 http://nyc.metblogs.com/2008/07/19/a-commuters-manifesto-part-i/#comment-5584 Oh Oh, Don't forget to mention on the "two-across" rule, that if one person is part of a party, and each member is wide/wider than two across, they should walk single file, if they insist on being in public. Oh Oh, Don’t forget to mention on the "two-across" rule, that if one person is part of a party, and each member is wide/wider than two across, they should walk single file, if they insist on being in public.

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