Opening Night at the Movies

So my beard and I went to a movie last night. That’s right, I went to see a movie on opening night, in Manhattan. What the hell was my beard thinking? Well, it was thinking that Hellboy II was going to be freakin’ sweet. Which by the way, it was. Seeing a movie on opening night in NYC is kind of a punishing experience. I went to one of the theaters in Union Sq. to a 7:15 showing, which amazingly was the only show not sold out for the rest of the night. I bought the ticket an hour in advance and then went to grab a taco. I thought if I show up about 40 minutes in advance I should be near the front of the line. That is the last time I listen to my beard about this sort of thing. We got there and wham, back of the line, buddy. About 50 or so people in front of me. But they kept coming. Hordes of people showed up for the now sold out show. The theater was playing it in their biggest auditorium that has a balcony. The line kept stacking up, further and further it went. People were going to get their money back because they thought the line was too long (pussies, can’t wait in a line, sheesh). This is freakin’ opening night people… Get a clue, it’s going to be sold out. Half the people at the front of the line had blankets cause they’d been there so long. We make it into the theater and find some decent seats, since we weren’t really that far back in line. Then the real experience starts. We are seeing a sci-fi / comic book movie so inevitably you have some know it all hecklers who have read every word of every comic book that has been made into a movie recently. As the trailers roll you hear comments like, “That girl they got to play that character is fuckin’ hot!” and “Stuuuupid!”. that’s right, I am calling the nerds who go see Hellboy II know it all brats who don’t really care about the fact that a movie might not follow the comic exactly as long as the female lead is fuckin’ hot. Not that it matters, because I expect it out of this crowd. And, it is opening night in New York Fuckin’ City, and who doesn’t feel they have the right to yell at the screen for $12. I mean hey, they should be giving us handjobs for paying that much, but that’s another post altogether. So the crowd is rowdy, it’s all part of the experience. Right before the movie begins, the lights are turning low. The two dudes behind me are still prattling on about the last preview, or how much of a fuckin’ hot smokin’ babe that last chick was, and the guy next to them pulls the asshole card. “Can you please be quiet, the movie is starting”. This was said in that I am better than you, heed my existence or die mortal, type of attitude. Seriously, what the fuck. These guys are being harmless and they most assuredly came to see Hellboy kick ass and shoot stuff, not to blab the whole time. If they wanted to blab the whole time then they would have gone to the movies with my dad, who can’t shut up during a feature length film, god love him. The response to this guy’s be quiet was that of, ok buddy, sure thing guy. I’m not your guy, buddy. I’m not your buddy, friend. I’m not your friend, guy. And so on. The point is, you are at a movie on opening night in NYC. Grow some balls, deal with the lines, the hecklers, and your own little self centered world.

1 Comment so far

  1. Sean (sean) on July 12th, 2008 @ 2:18 pm

    I loved the first Hellboy movie, and I am looking forward to seeing this one.

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