a chain e-mail that’s being passed around

This appeared on Craigslist:

What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think
I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

– Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my
feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

– Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story
there?

– Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

– How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front
about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t
able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial
interests Craig’s List PostingID:

THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I
see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t
be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense
to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case
you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.

3 Comments so far

  1. Ben K. (unregistered) on October 15th, 2007 @ 10:55 am

    It’s not a chain e-mail; that was an actual craigslist posting a few weeks ago, covered by Gothamist, Gawker, Jossip, NYT’s Freakonomics, etc. The general consensus is that it’s a load of crap.


  2. yttrx (unregistered) on October 15th, 2007 @ 2:09 pm

    Did you write that?


  3. yttrx (unregistered) on October 15th, 2007 @ 2:15 pm

    By the way, Irina, I know that you have this very specific opinion about rich people in NYC—that they’re generally vapid uninteresting, and will most assuredly suffer the way you have at some point in their lives, and won’t that just be swell.

    You should probably know that you’re only talking about a small portion of the wealthy people in NYC. Most of them (from my experience at least, having been friends with a number of them) you couldn’t pick out of a crowd. There’s no way you’d be able to tell them from just some generic moron on the street.

    If you don’t believe me, head down to the tennis courts in Central Park on the west side on a saturday. Just sit on a bench and look at the people hanging around the courts and the club just to the east of them. You’re looking at people who’ve had money in NYC for quite a long time, often extending back many generations. And if you saw any of them on the corner of 102nd and broadway, you might think they were someone’s gardener.

    You’re seeing the people who annoy you the most because that’s who you’re looking for. Why do you want to be annoyed?



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