Rats are everywhere. Literally, everywhere. Like, go away. Monday night I was walking through Union Square Park while chatting on the phone with my sister. I was begging her to come up and visit me in NYC, and she was telling me how excited she is to come here and live in filth for a few days. “Pshaw, it’s not that dirty!” I told her. But right as those words were coming out of my mouth, a ginormous rat crossed my path. I would have screamed, but I didn’t want to deter my sister from coming to visit. Then, ten seconds later- another rat, and a minute after that- one more! Three rats in 1.5 minutes. That’s a new record.

photo courtesy of Brooklyn Skeptic

Rats don’t really bother me anymore, and not even because of their omnipresense. I spent a year of my life chopping of their heads and extracting their brains, so a little rat action in the subway doesn’t digust or startle me. Rats are staples of urban life, just like pigeons and garbage. They are plentiful not just because we’ve given them an ideal living environment, but because they’re smart. They have large brains for their size, and apparently can be ticklish!

Why do humans have such a huge aversion to these creatures- an aversion that seems to be innate? We certainly don’t get disgusted by pigeons, squirrels, or sparrows. Why rats? My theory is that they’re competition with us, since they’re fellow omnivores. They put out toxins that gross us out, and we do the same to them. In fact, rats emit more human allergens than any other species. I guess we’re not meant to get along.

Rats, man’s annoying neighbor?