He’s going on and on about being a “computer expert.” I think he’s trying to get his certification. He says he’s going to be bigger than Bill Gates. Though when he says the word Gates it slithers on the s.

“I only drink on the weekends. Only Thursdays & Fridays. Don’t worry. Ya’ll gotta stop generalizing.”

He takes a swig of his open beer while no one’s watching. He’s sitting next to me. So now he’s asking “what you got that’s only for a buck?” “$2.25 for a muffin? I can get one of those in Brooklyn for 50 cents.”

Now he’s silent, they’re trying to kick him out of the store, but he won’t leave. I like drunken men in teashops. He’s a much needed distraction.

“I live in Staten Island, that’s nice right? In a condominium. That’s nice right? If I keep drinking Imma be homeless…”

Le fin…actually. . . the saga continues. So someone snuck outside and called the cops on him – they do their regular roundups. The police officer came inside and then to my shock (since I had not seen) he said “finish the beer and pull up your pants sir.” The man was butt naked inside the teashop. I’ve decided I do NOT like drunken men at teashops any longer. That was disgusting!

HOLY SHIT, THERE’S MORE (I’m writing this in sections as it develops)

So he comes back to the place and starts hovering outside the tea joint. He’s no longer sipping on his beer. But now there’s a guy in here studying the Bible and he sees him hovering outside.

The Bible study guy says “Oh man, he’s in that black jews group or something. I’ve seen him on Times Square. These three dudes dress up as royalty and preach by the movie theater on 42nd street saying that white people are the devil. White people are the devil and he says he wants to murder them all”

When the word murdered was uttered, the tea girl got scared and “eeeked”. We all laughed and now the guy is getting arrested, his face squished against the clear glass – being held there by three people. So he’s being arrested with quite some force.

A detective walks into the tea joint and says “Hi I’m Detective so-and-so and whose the manager here?”

Someone steps forward;

“Okay so I’m going to use you guys as the ones that complained. He had a bottle in his hand right? Was he waving it at you? Was he threatening you? Was he threatening any of you with the bottle?”

Nos all around… “he was just drunk and we asked him to leave since he had an open container and he had his pants off.”

“Alright alright. Well we’re going to arrest him now but we’ll be saying that you guys are the ones who reported him.”

And now he’s outside being arrested, the Bible studying guy called up his friend who apparently had an argument with this guy on 42nd street one day. “We shut his theories down,” he said. I bet they did. What a night!