Little dogs


Little cheeks
Little teeth
Everything around me is. . .little.

Miss Hannigan, Annie

My first experience with little dogs wasn’t good. Buttercup was a Yorkshire terrier who lived next door to us in my New Jersey suburb, and who’d yip up a storm when my brother or I put even a toe out the back door.

Twenty years later, I’ve come full circle and am surrounded by miniature mutts once again.

Makes sense in our space-challenged city. We don’t have yards or big rooms for golden retrievers or huskies to run around in. A chihuahua or a bichon frise fits more easily in a studio or a tote. But the smaller the pet, the easier to baby it.

Look, folks, your teacup poodle is not a baby, even if you put it in a carriage. Why have I noticed these only recently? According to the very nice woman who let me take a picture of her dog, it’s not that uncommon. “I’ve always done this,” she told me, shrugging.

The more common model I’ve seen is a pink number with a mesh covering. I suppose it’s possible that I keep seeing the same woman with the same pink dog stroller and the same white dog inside, but more likely I can’t distinguish one from the other, the way I can’t tell apart the women on The Real Housewives of Orange County.

I can understand giving your kid a ride, especially if he can’t, like, walk yet, and a tired child is easier to push than to carry, but aren’t dogs supposed to walk as much as possible?

“He has Alzheimer’s,” the nice lady told me. Getting him out and about keeps the poor little guy’s senses active. Okay, so I’m an asshole.

I guess I’d rather see a dog well-behaved in a stroller than hyper and barking at me as I walk by, which was what happened this weekend.

“Don’t worry,” the owner told me. “He doesn’t bite.”

Right, and you don’t have any manners.

There are no bad dogs, only bad owners, like kids are only as bratty as their parents let them be. Just ask the Dog Whisperer or Nanny 911.

To tell the truth, I’ve been thinking of getting a dog myself. A Yorkie, if you can believe it, but mine would be the bestest widdle doggie in the whole wide world. But no puppy mobile for me.

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