So I have no plans for tonight.

Yes, I know: I’m a big fat fucking loser.

Or am I? Who says I need to do something on this particular evening, Ryan Seacrest? Like I’m going to listen to someone who dyes his eyelashes. If this were the Sunday of President’s Day weekend, I wouldn’t be expected to go out and partay like it’s George Washington’s birthday, but like Valentine’s Day, there’s a societal pressure not just to have fun but to have the most fun ever on New Year’s Eve.

For my most recent past-December 31st’s, I and my then-husband saw each installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. We’d go to a 9 or 10 o’clock show, and by the time the movie let out, midnight would have passed, which was fine by us. We’d grab sandwiches from Subway’s, the only place that was open (this was Westchester), go home, pig out, and crash by 1.

One divorce and one move-into-the-city later, I tried to recreate the New Year’s Eve I knew by dragging a girlfriend to see a late show of The Chronicles of Narnia. Needless to say she didn’t exactly find prancing fauns and talking beavers a rollicking good time, at least not on that night.

So this year I didn’t make any arrangements, except for some random errands and staying away from midtown east or west. Last night I made the mistake of trying to walk from 54th and 5th to Koreatown, and like a dope was surprised to come upon wall to wall people.

The police had already started to barricade the sidewalks, preventing impatient folk from walking in the middle of the street to circumvent the crowds. A couple slipped through, including me and some middle-aged guy. While the guy received a firm but calm reprimand from the female police officer - “Sir, you can’t be walking in the middle of the street” - I got a fierce, “Get in there!” with a thumb jerk towards the barricades.

I’m actually looking forward to holing up at home after a day of running around. But next year I’ll need to seek a quieter place. Perhaps a yurt in Mongolia will do.

Related posts:

1. POLICIA !
2. Lorne Michaels on the Street
3. Sago, West Virginia
4. Illegal Immigrants
5. Over the river and through the woods.