I’m not the rural type. I seldom go anyplace that doesn’t have a lobby and elevator. But in autumn, I always get tempted to visit friends in Vermont. (Fall foliage! Antiques! Thirty-dollar artisanal cheeses made by Microsoft millionaires who wanted to “get back to the land”!)

What I especially love is browsing through old-fashioned General Stores. You can find everything from PopTarts to fishing lures to brake fluid. Coming from a place without Walmarts, I find the idea of one-stop-shopping charming. It makes me wonder what a NEW YORK General Store would carry…

If New Yorkers only had one place to buy everything we need on a daily basis, the inventory would have to include such necessities as New York Magazine, Prozac, toilet paper, a quaffable cabernet, Manolos, bagels, botox, “to the trade only” designer fabrics, arugula, toothpaste, coffee in paper cups that say “We’re happy to serve you,” soap, the Sunday Times (for the crossword puzzle — we read it on-line the rest of the week), Roach Motels, Titanium Macs, paper towels, radios that only get NPR stations, bottled water, duct tape, and trophy items (such as art-star paintings) that other people won’t be allowed to buy.

Not to worry about how this would all fit into one small store — the clothing here only comes in one color (black), which leaves plenty of room for other fare. Besides, the General Store won’t have to stock TVs because supposedly New Yorkers “never watch televsion.” Every price would be wholesale, or a special deal just for you.

What else do you think a New York General Store should stock?