10 Reasons I Love Bay Ridge (Don’t Move Here! This Means You!)
10. Parades! Zeppoles!
9. Yards and landscaping
8. Crazy street people much rarer
7. Quick escape over Verazzano Bridge
6. Block after block of family homes
5. Reasonable rent in pretty cool apartments–er, except none are currently available! Hear me?
4. No roving hordes of club people or celebrities
3. Dearth of hipsters
2. No Ratner building going up here!
1. Owners of bagel place, pizza joint, dry cleaners, laundromat, and grocery store all know our names, our “usuals”, and feel comfortable teasing us unmercifully.
I’m only kidding. I made all that up! It’s a horrible place to live. Really terrible. Don’t bother entertaining a single thought of moving here, because it’s not worth it. We’re all scum and we’lll cut you. I’m being serious.