In Woody Allen’s new movie, Scoop, journalism student Sondra Pransky (Scarlett Johansson) is given a tip for a hot story from beyond the grave. Apparently young and dashing Peter Lyman (Hugh Jackman) is the Tarot Card Killer, a Jack the Ripper type who has been terrorizing London with a string of murders of dark-haired prostitutes.

Through ruse after ruse, Sondra tries to catch the killer, only to fall in love, all the while with bumbling magician, Master Splendini – aka Sid Waterman (aka Woody Allen) – inexplicably in tow.

Splendini’s presence isn’t the only inexplicable thing in this extremely light and boring movie. Without revealing any spoilers, there are enough plot holes to sink the Queen Mary. Johansson, while she has her moments and some good chemistry with Allen (a father figure in the film rather than a love interest, THANK GOD), is about as believable as a type A wannabe-newspaper woman from Brooklyn as I am as a movie star blonde bombshell. Jackman, sporting a very nice English accent, is hot but boring as Lyman. (I’d have gladly paid another $10 to see him play the part as Wolverine. Shing! Krumpets, anyone?)

The real star of the movie is Allen himself, who’s hilarious with his desperate/confused/bemused expressions, as well as his one-liners and deceivingly bumbling speeches which are kvetching genius. “Your family’s Orthodox,” he tells the smitten Johansson. “Will they accept a serial killer?”

Although I couldn’t wait for the movie to be over, the Upper West Side audience loved it. Allen could have recited the phone book and folks would have been rolling in the aisles. But unless you’re a die hard Woody fan, I’d skip this one, or else wait for the DVD.