Last week the man and I took a few well-deserved days off from work. But without the cash or the ability to really leave town for any extended period of time, we were forced to improvise and do a sort of touristy vacation in NYC. We had plans to go to museums and botanic gardens before the weather took a turn for the worse and had us fleeing indoors to the closest AC. One day we got up early and caught an early showing of Superman Returns in IMAX, a film I can only recommend with 3D glasses on and a lobotomy, but I digress. After the flick let out we were nice and chilly, so we took a stroll through central park and sauntered past the Central Park Zoo, a fine establishment that my boyfriend had never actually patronized. I remember the penguin room being cold, so we bought two tickets and went for a stroll. What followed was a pleasant, albeit sweaty afternoon filled with all sorts of awesome animals. Case in point:

Check out the freaky flash-eyes on both the flamingo and the weird mini-deer thing. Yeah, that’s right, I don’t know what kind of animal that is. I could look it up, but I would rather just focus on its crazy eyes. Which I could have photoshopped away, but I like them all demonic looking. Also seems strange to me that this two animals chill together.

Toucans rock! Those beaks are huge and have razor sharp edges. Do not piss these birds off–they may look like they just want you to eat fruit loops, but they are really killing machines!

More pictures of awesome and freaky animals after the jump:

The goats are escaping!!! Everybody panic!!! Hide your childen!!!

Yes, marvel at my animal identification skills. These are some sort of small white monkey type things. Cute, but they smell bad…I think they were some sort of marmoset

I had no idea pheasant were so damn colorful. I thought they looked like super colorful turkeys. And they taste yummy…

This fish looks big and pissed. The label said it was some sort of piranha, but I refuse to believe that cause it’s just too damn mind-boggling, Seriously the thing must have weighed 100 pounds.

This bird has a big ass. And he isn’t afraid to shake it.

Ew, ew, gross. I couldn’t even stand next to the hissing cockroaches long enough to get a non-blurry photo. So…gross…

I remember that’s a Victoria Crowned Pigeon, cause it was much better looking than the pigeons we are used to seeing around here. That is some awesome plummage.

Colobus Monkey photoshoot. This guy is a total pro.

Give me despondent

Give me bemused

Brown seal chillin’ on a rubber mat

Obligatory cute penguin photo:

But I was more impressed with the reverse blonde mohawk on these puffins!

Dang, that polar bear is huge!

And of course you can’t leave the zoo without snapping a photo of a seal with it’s tail in the air

And finally, we’ve got snakes at this muthafuckin’ zoo!

Sorry, had to do it…