So many people touched my heart over the past couple of days, I just had to put my sentiments in a love letter. To everyone out there, you know who you are!

To the Asian chick on the subway reading How to Win Friends and Influence People. Don’t read that in public. Really. Please. Don’t. Or at least hide it in a copy of Beloved.

To the European guy who tried to cut me at Bed, Bath, & Beyond. “Excuse me!” you said, practically bumping your cart against me, as though I were in your way to the cash register instead of patiently waiting to pay for my one item. What do you think I’m doing? Picking goobers?

To the greeter at the Container Store on the UES. Yes, I understand, it’s a great company to work for, a top 100 if I remember correctly, but there is such a thing as being TOO perky, don’t you think? Once you say, “Hi, there! Welcome to the Container Store!” and I say, a bit skittish, “Thank you,” that’s the end of our transaction. Please don’t keep talking and looking after me. It makes me feel like a bigger bitch than I am when I ignore you.

To the lady on 77th and Lex who tries to give me an AM New York every morning. Please don’t look at me that way. I’m sorry, I just don’t want it. I’ll end up throwing it out. I’m a Metro gal. Please don’t look so disappointed. Okay, fine. Thanks.

To the really noisy and annoying kid on the subway. I know you’re feeling neglected and that your mother and grandmother aren’t listening to you, especially since they and your brothers and sisters are all sitting on the other side of the train. But please take a cue from all the irritated folks around and PIPE DOWN. You’ll have to take responsibility for yourself, kid, cuz it’s clear your mom has no idea how to raise you right.

To the girl who tried to lean her whole body on the pole during rush hour on the 6. Really?

To Mother Nature or the Weather Man or whatever/whomever controls all which goes on around us that makes us sweat, freeze, and bump our umbrellas against other people’s like idiots. Thank you thank you for easing up on us! For the first time in a month, I didn’t use my A/C and wasn’t drenched in sweat by the time I got to work.

Wishing you all the best, xx oo -
Doris

Related posts:

1. How Doris Night Got Late, Got Fired, and Got a Yuppie-Free Life
2. Why I love NY
3. Love and Art on a Sunday
4. An open letter to my douchebag neighbors
5. I see the same people over and over again