I’m the Hag!

As part of Gay Pride Week, last night Caroline’s on Broadway hosted an almost all gay (except for, randomly, the SAHM at the beginning) line-up of new comics, including a friend of mine.

I’ll admit I didn’t stay for the whole show. With a start-time of 9:30 it was a late night for me so as soon as my friend was done, I got up to go. Right before I left, a group of guys rose to leave as well. I thought maybe they were friends of my friend, or had the same plan I did, or they just had to be somewhere. Then a woman’s voice called out from back:

“Leaving so soon? Don’t you want to see the rest of the show? What’s the matter? Can’t you handle it?”

Everyone froze. Keep in mind all this went down right after my friend’s act, which was the raunchiest so far. I won’t go into too much detail but let’s just say it referenced dildos, a boy toy named Tobey, and a camcorder. Maybe the woman was referring to the supposedly offended, suppsedly straight guys who had just left, but I was the one left with the aftermath.

Everyone stared at me as I slinked out of the room. I was mortified. You don’t understand! I wanted to shout. I’m not homophobic! I just took 5 pictures of my friend – I gave feedback on that dildo joke! I’M THE HAG!

I didn’t say anything. I just tried to leave as quickly as possible, only afterwards realizing in my haste that I had forgotten to pay my waitress. At first the host was going to make me go back into the room to do so, but I couldn’t do it. “I don’t want to interrupt the next performance,” I said. Thank goodness he was able to wave my waitress over.

Of course I shouldn’t care what people think. I was there to support my friend. But it was still pretty humiliating to be called out as an uptight homophobe – or at least to catch the tail end of such a call out – in a roomful of queers, smackdab in the middle of Pride Week.

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