Women aren’t the only ones who have to deal with threats, harassment and abuse. Many men have had to deal with this sort of thing since they were children. More men (and especially boys) are targets of random street violence. So it’s not simply a gender issue.

There is no answer which is going to satisfy your idealist wish for justice. The most pragmatic answer is to find some technique for self-defense, but never use it on the random asshole with a big mouth. Just suck it up, keep your head down, and do *your* piece to make the world a better place.

To get arrested, you’d have to get caught. Chances are if you spray someone, you aren’t going to hang around and if you’ve resorted to spraying someone, there probably isn’t someone around to arrest you anyway ;-)

I don’t believe pepper spray is legal in NYC, but it’s very easily obtainable regardless.

You’re absolutely right about not having to be so close to someone to use it. Which is what makes it a great option.

I’ll have to start carrying it again. The last time I had it, the spray got clogged – which isn’t a good thing AND it supposedly goes bad after a year so you have to remember to replace it. I was a lot younger then, so I’m sure I’d do a better job of caring for the bottle this time around.

I mean, I know it’s (at best) a gray area legally, but it might be a bit more effective at a distance and you won’t have to be right on top of someone to use it…

Just a suggestion. I think if scumbags like these started getting it in the eyes more regularly, they’d rethink their f’ed up attitude.

I was telling a friend about what happened to me and they weren’t surprised at all. They actually flipped out that I wasn’t surprised. I guess I shouldn’t be, but part of me really is. It’s not as if I think I’m invincible or invisible, I just have been fortunate after all these years in NYC. No one has messed with me… until now. I guess my lucky streak may have ended.

the rest of the comment was not directed at you, i am well aware of the gravity of that encounter, and thus i do not respond to your tirade.

Melissa, glad you’re ok.

It’s a figure of speech that’s pretty well-known, not some evil plot from the right to oppress womyn, and I wish you’d stop pegging me as some kind of right wing ideologue. You really don’t know what the hell you’re talking about and you should probably use that education of yours to read a little more.

Jesus Christ (see? I’m not really invoking Jesus Christ. That’s a figure of speech). You really need to lighten up (figure of speech, you don’t need to lose weight).

What happened to Melissa was fucked up (figure of speech, there was no actual fucking goig on). Somehow, amidst the ranting and pigeonholing, you missed the part where I agreed with her.

And just for the record (figure of speech, there is no actual transcript of this conversation other than this comments section), this is significantly worse than the cat calling (figure of speech: no cats are actually being called) you want banned on the panel (figure of speech, no wood is actually involved) you were “so on.”

This was an actual threat. Aside from pissing them off (figure of speech, no one is actually pissing here) by taking their picture, do you have a solution? And don’t say criminalizing the speech because the conduct they committed was already illegal, so how do you suggest we handle it?

Or better. How would your “criticize the oppressor’s speech” panel leader handle this? After all, this isn’t something that’s legal but wrong, but something that’s already illegal with no one around to enforce it.

I’m open (figure of speech: my skin is completely in tact; I’m mentally open) to suggestions.

(In the future I will mark off (figure of speech: I’m not actually going to use a marker) every figure of speech this way Anna can cool the oppression complex a bit. Don’t worry Anna. I’m married, will be for 5 years in September, and contrary to what you think I’m not a right-wing ideologue or a womyn hater no matter how much you try to paint me (figure of speech, you’re not using actual paint) as such.

Melissa, that’s plain fucking scary. You could also take their picture the next time. Usually that deters them. Knife’s cool. You’re so hard core.

And all that patronizing shouldn’t be alone there shit is so fucking annoying. Like these guys think they could actually “protect” you better than you did. Just so happens that women are far more aware of their surroundings bc they have to deal with this shit on a daily basis.