Donnie Baseball!

Not quite . . .

Last night’s rumble between Japan and Cuba was probably simultaneously the greatest and most humiliating event in the history of American baseball. That two countries that weren’t American played our so-called national pastime in California was the greatest honor the sport could receive. That we couldn’t make it into the finals was embarassing and a wake-up call for players to stop bickering about their salaries and concentrate on getting better at the game.

So, the scene was set at Nice Guy Eddie’s, I received a call from a friend of a friend who is a communist that they were gathering to watch the historic event. I entered and found 7 communists and 1 tiny japanese girl sitting in the corner.

Inside Nice Guy Eddies - 9:30ish pm

English Teacher: Yeah I just got back from Madrid from teaching English.
Me: Oh! So do you teach young kids? Elementary school? High school?
ET: No, I only teach adults
Me: Oh that’s great
ET: Yeah, it’s great . . . I only teach English as a 2nd language
Me: Great . . . (turning to tv) is this Michigan State or Michigan?
ET: Who knows

beat

Scroll on screen says that Japan has bases loaded

Communist: They have bases loaded because we’re not cheering them on yet
Others: Yeah totally

beat

0.4 of a second left on the clock, some dude makes a 3 pointer at the buzzer

All: Holy shit!
Me: Dude, the look on the North Dakota coach’s face was unbelievable!
Me: Oh shit, I mean Notre Dame - I don’t know jack about college basketball.

beat (a bit later)

Japan scores. Tiny Japanese girl in the corner is excited.

Japanese Girl: YAAAAH!

I fucking love international baseball.

Related posts:

1. Japan vs New York: Taxis & Pizza
2. now THIS is New York
3. Japan vs New York: Toilets
4. Yo Soy Boricua Pa’Que Tu Lo Sepas
5. Japan vs New York: Manners