Today:

A homeless man shouted “Change Spare!” as i walked by.

Shitting at work with nothing to read, i cleaned out my wallet only to drop all of its contents into the toilet. (and yes it was mid-shit)

I saw a man with an eye patch drinking a mini-bar size bottle of Goldschlager on the corner. Pondering which was funnier, the eye patch or the Goldschlager I walked into a door.