A few lines that were particularly note-worthy while reading Joseph Heller’s short story “The Day Bush Left,” about George Bush the elder deciding to step down and let J. Danforth Quayle run the country:

(George H. W. Bush): “And I play dumb. That’s where I’m smart. That’s pretty easy for me.”

(GHWB): “The way we designed it, Charlie, was to give the public the impression that the other people in the background were making those dirty campaign decisions and I was just an innocent wimp doing and saying whatever they ordered me to, like some kind of dumb dodo.”
(Charlie Stubbs): “But isn’t that pretty much the way it happened?”

(CS): “What confounds me still, George, is that you could be the standard-bearer of the vilest, dirtiest, most ugly presidential campaign in modern history and still come out of it looking so squeaky clean. How can it be, George, that people still think you’re basically decent, kind, and gentle?”

(GHWB): “We didn’t really run an antiblack hate campaign, Charlie…[a]ll we set out to do was reach those white people in the country who hate blacks. We figured if we could get our message to voters who are antiblack, we would get close to a hundred percent of the white vote.” (Since you clearly see where I’m going with this, re-read the above statement and substitute “gays”, “pro-choicers”, or “people who don’t feast on the blood of newborns” for “blacks” and see how accurately it describes Dubya’s tactics)

There’s a saying about those not paying attention to history being doomed to…something. Damn. I’ve forgotten it already.

9 Comments so far

  1. ss. (unregistered) on January 31st, 2005 @ 12:07 pm

    history is doomed to repeat itself twice: first time as a tragedy, second time as a farce,

    (hope I got the englsih right…)

  2. Rick (unregistered) on February 1st, 2005 @ 10:47 am

    HAHAHAHA. You guys are amazingly sad.

  3. Josh (unregistered) on February 1st, 2005 @ 10:57 am

    Thanks Rick! Sorry we couldn’t be more in line with what you do at redneckguru.com: your pot-shots at the French, at the “liberal whackos,” and your insinuations that the “DEMS” hate and want to destroy America…you know, all that fascinating, original stuff you do.

  4. Rick (unregistered) on February 2nd, 2005 @ 7:22 am

    I know Josh, the whole pro America, call a spade a spade thing on my page is right in line with your riveting observation of doom and gloom for the country and the world because of one election in our country.

    As a student of history, you must be proud.

    Tell all of the Iraqis that were dancing in the street on their election day how “doomed” history is.

    and Josh?

    God Bless America, k? :-)

  5. Josh (unregistered) on February 2nd, 2005 @ 4:16 pm

    Well, you’ve got me there, Rick – I’m NOT pro-America, as you are. I happen to be pro-better-America, but nice job calling a spade a spade and all that. Just like our fearless “now watch me hit this drive” leader that 51% of the voting public (which traditionally works out to be about 1/4 of the voting AGE public, but I digress) seems to like so much. And since I am, in fact, very happy about the Iraqi elections, I’ll be sure to pass that doom-n-gloom message on the to the Iraqis. The non-dead ones, anyway.

    And Rick? Thanks for sharing your God and his blessings with me, even though the results of the last election dictate that you don’t have to. I feel as if we’re so close now. Not in a gay way, of course, because even a little faggotry would really piss off the all-compassionate Almighty.

  6. Rick (unregistered) on February 2nd, 2005 @ 8:57 pm

    Pro Better America? Like in a socialist kinda way I’m sure. And there you go trying to somehow insinuate the election is somehow less valid because only a certain percentage of registered voters voted. Those that didn’t vote, must not have cared enough to vote. Luckily out of those that cared enough to vote the majority (thats popular and electoral for those of you keeping score at home) voted for Bush.

    I believe that your reply is actually response number 124 in the liberal hymnbook. You even tried to slam religion (even though I had made no reference to it.)

    Lets all sing along shall we? You lead Josh. You seem to know the words by heart.

  7. Josh (unregistered) on February 3rd, 2005 @ 2:35 pm

    If you can explain to me how God (as in your closing “God Bless America, k? :-)”) is somehow separate from religion, I’d be glad to hear it. I understand how some of you right-wingers don’t do the whole “nuance” thing, but to me this just seems, well…wrong.

    Also, calling me a socialist seems a bit assumptive, but far be it from me to take away your long-standing Republican traditions of jumping to conclusions and using name-calling and specious arguments as a form of debate. Argue the issues? God forbid! (ooops, there I go, invoking the name of your Almighty again…though, according to you, in a completely non-religious way).

    I don’t have my “liberal hymnbook” handy, so perhaps you could fill in with Ashcroft’s “Let the Eagle Soar”?

  8. Rick (unregistered) on February 3rd, 2005 @ 3:33 pm

    Darn Josh. You’re right (but not in a political way of course). I said God bless America, so I opened up the door for an attack on religion. I hope you aren’t one of those people that, carrying that logic a step further, believes we opened the door up for the 9-11 attack just because we dare to be the most prosperous, successful and free country in the world.

    Argue the issues? I was only commenting on your doom and gloom negativity with your “history is doomed to repeat itself twice: first time as a tragedy, second time as a farce” comment.

    What issue exactly were you addressing there, other than the issue of your own personal unhappiness?

    If the first time it is a tragedy for you, the second time a farce to you, what shall the third time hold for poor Josh’s happiness?

    Of course it won’t be Bush, but it won’t be a Democrat either.

    Cheers Josh, and I mean that.

  9. Josh (unregistered) on February 3rd, 2005 @ 3:54 pm

    Actually (and not to nitpick, but it’s an important distinction) but that quote to which you refer was actually posted by SS. I was thinking of a separate saying: “Those ignorant of history are doomed to repeat it,” in reference to the fact that we elected two terrible Presidents from the same family. Is that doom-n-gloom? Sure, I think W. is an awful, incompetent and dangerously arrogant leader, somehow salvaged by the fact that the slight majority of the voting public incomprehensibly thinks that his personal faith trumps his abilities as a the most powerful man on earth when Election Day rolls around. Doom and gloom? Well, sure – I don’t agree with that logic, and yet I cast my vote for the losing team. And realize that when it comes to religion, I’m not offended by anyone’s faith (as no one should be offended by mine), but I’m 100% opposed to codifying (Christian) religious tenets as U.S. law. The government does not exist to protect you or I from “sinful” choices we could potentially make by making those same choices illegal. Frankly, it’s personal and religious laziness on the part of the neocons, and its scary they don’t see the parallels to the Islamic theocracies they so abhor.

    Cheers (meaningfully) back.

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