So, I’m on the subway this morning and I look up to see an advertisment that says something to the effect of: “Johnny looks hot in a snowboard sweater with etc. etc….” All well and good except that the “Johnny” in question was no more than 6 years old. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry but as ubiquitous as the word “hot” has become post-the Simple Life, unless you have a serious Humbert Humbert complex IT DOES NOT DESCRIBE A SIX-YEAR-OLD. This is the path advertising is taking us down – making everything okay for adults okay for kids. This is why I see 10-year-old girls in midriff-baring shirts and hooker make-up, and why I carry an eye dropper full of bleach to burn the image from my eyes after I’m done vomiting. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m anything but prude, but please, let kids be kids. If this keeps up, instead of saying “Oh, your baby looks so cute,” we’ll have “Oh god, that’s such a HOT baby!” Do we want that? Is that what we want? Because you know where that will lead, don’t you? That will lead to inner-womb beauty pageants, where kicking will be considered a talent and mothers will fudge their date of conception to get past the third-trimester cut-off because, you know, second trimester fetuses are so much more svelte than those 7-9 month fatties.

Oh, the company responsible is: www.childrensplace.com