i’m sure you’ve all heard of the staten island ferry, especially after that terrible crash that killed a bunch of people this last year. don’t let that scare you away from a FREE FERRY RIDE!!! it’s a nice ride that goes from the southern end of manhattan to staten island, and they leave pretty frequently, 24/7.
me and some girlfriends went there this sunday to bike around the staten island botanical gardens. we packed lunches and expected a quiet afternoon filled with flora and pollinating insects. instead, we stumble upon an irish dancing competition, where most of the girls looked like this:

dude! i couldn’t believe it. the costumes were outrageously stitched gold and glittered dress aprons adorned with fushia flashes of pink and unreal greens. there were over a hundred girls jumping around wearing the craziest curly wigs i’ve ever seen. so curly, they bounce like springs whenever they riverdance around! what was so freaky, other than the insane leaps and foot egg-beating, was that this all resembled more of a discovery of a strange alien race than a dance competition. at least they still appreciate the goodness of funnel cake and zeppolis. yummm….
by the way, i’m not dissing the dancers. they have talent beyond what i can muster. it’s just so crazy that a time-honored cultural tradition can be so commercialized with totally fake wigs and costumes starting at $300 a pop. where are we headed?